My mirror needed cleaning....

Good Morning Everyone!  This sunshine is simply amazing isn't it!  I don't know if all of you heard the news but last week we had someone call and offer to pay for the first step of our adoption! To type the words "we were excited" just doesn't sound right.  We were over the moon.  We knew God told us to adopt.  We knew we didn't have the means ourselves to adopt.  We knew we were to wait on God to provide.  However when He did we were floored!  We literally fell on our face!  Which leads me to the meat of my email...
     Alot of people have been sending us emails or telling us how "good" we are.  I have heard this from all types of people.  I have been told that I was so "good" for staying home with my kids.  That I am "good" for homeschooling.  I am a "good" christian.  I am a "good" wife, a "good" cook, a "good" person for adopting someone of another race, another baby......  Now don't get me wrong I love complements as much as the next girl but  to call ME "good" makes me think Ha!
     One of the books I am reading right now is titled Feminine Appeal, by Carolyn Mahaney.  In it she talks about the Bible calling us to kindness and goodness.  Ouch!  She quotes another author who defines kindness as a sincere desire for the happiness of others.  And goodness as the activity  calculated to advance that happiness.  Again I say Ouch!  I don't know if that really defines me most of the time.  So this email I thought I would share maybe confess how I am really not good or kind, alot!
     Here goes....
1.  I have a temper.  I am sure there are a million excuses I could use with this but I won't.  It is a lack of self-control!
2. I yell at my kids alot.  I hate this about me and have really tried to work on it.
3.  I am impatient with my kids but can be patient and hold my tongue
with people I dont even know, like the cashier or bank lady. So wrong I know!
4.  Showering sometimes seems like a big ordeal that I would rather skip if I am not going anywhere!  (Hey don't judge a confessing sinner)
5.  I don't like to ask anyone for anything.  I think this would fall under the category of pride.  I don't like to appear like I need anything.
6.  I weigh myself everyday.  Sometimes it ruins my day if I don't and panic all day about if I gained or not.  Again pride rears its ugly head!
7.  I have a problem with authority.  Terry was the first one to point this out after we were married.  To put a better spin on it I just don't like to be told what to do.  That really doesn't sound any better.  This has been  a struggle since I was in school.  Believe it or not I was the girl always being put out in the hall or being sent to the office.  It is true.  I have come a long way.  But sometimes I revert to my old ways and become stiff necked and unsubmissive! 
8.  I am a starter not a finisher.  Yuck I hate typing that.  Right now I am reading 3 different books.  Crazy I know.  Maybe I have ADD.  Nope just lack of perseverance.  More sin!
9.  I don't sleep much at night.  This is connected to the sin of worrying.  I have also come a long way here too but struggle at times still.
10.  Since I confessed #9 I must confess I don't like to get up early.  I have recently tried to change my ways and have found some new success in this area.  But it is a daily struggle.
11.  I love to eat out!  Sometimes when our budget doesn't allow it I get a little pouty.  That was a hard one to confess!
12.  I am a recovering hypochondriac. 
13.  I am usually behind in my laundry.
14.  I  usually have mildewed kitchen rags.  I know so ugly.  I think this falls under laziness.  And gross!
15.  I worry about what people will think of me alot.  After I send this email I will worry that you know me better and you find me weird, or lazy or worse not "good" But now it is confessed!
     So now you know part of the real me.  NOw you know truly there is nothing good or kind that comes from me naturally.  I am a cracked pot.  Anything that comes from me that is worthy of praise truly comes from the work of my Heavenly Father who is the creator of all good things.  I get squeezed with conviction everyday of my life.  The more time I spend with Him the more I realize how awful I really am.  I read this morning that our souls are mirrors reflecting our God.  And our sin clouds the mirror.  I am constantly in need of  cleansing.  How about you?
Lovingly passing the Windex,
Carrie