God give me strength to give something from nothing....

This morning Terry and I had what you may call "intense fellowship"  Not big, not loud, but disagreement.  Now God has really been working on my heart lately, especially my anger.  I just heard some of you gasp.."Carrie struggle with anger"???  I know you all thought I was perfect!:)  But I do.  Big ugly bad temper.  I would love to blame this on my dad but God took that excuse and smashed it.  I struggle with anger cause I am a big rotten sinner who likes everything to go my way all the time.  I say when, I say who, I say how!  You get the picture???  Anyway, this morning after we had "had words" I had a decision I had to make....Was I going to make this husband of mine breakfast like I always do or was I going to toss a cereal bar at his face on the way out the door?  God whispered...and I knew I had to let Him have control of me and this pot that was boiling.  I decided I was going to cook him a BIG breakfast!  Your right God lets KILL him with kindness.  Then God whispered again...but it was hard to hear over the slamming of pots and pans and cabinet doors.  Eventually He got through.  Was I going to cook this breakfast in the right spirit so my kids could see Christ working through me, so they could see a love for their daddy that goes deeper than any spat, so they could see commitment to a covenant that God ordained. Well I am not sure they saw any of that but I felt an overwhelming blanket of peace cover me from head to toe as I gave in to Christ's prompting.  The issue between Terry and I was not resolved, but I had not sinned in my anger.  Christ working in me provided that big beefy husband of mine with grits, eggs and toast for his day.  And He had slayed the anger beast in me!  This led me to start pondering  all of life's inconveniences and all the excuses we make about falling short.  I have been guilty of losing my temper with my kids and blaming it on them when really it was my poor time management, home organizing skills or the fact that I had slept too late for a quiet time with the Lord, that stressed me that made me lash out.  We say we don't have the time, strength, energy to do the tasks that He has clearly set before us.  And we don't.  But with all my heart I believe that if our priorities are in line with His and we come up short of time, strength, energy, resources, patience, love, faith, forgiveness that is where He wants us.  Beyond ourselves so He gets the glory.  He fills in the gaps and stretches us farther than we ever thought we could.  It was not Carrie who got the praise or glory.  Not I who did it right.  Not I who got the credit as I handed that shocked man of mine his plate.  But Christ.  O sweet Christ working in me. Me, a busted, broken clay pot.   As I type, I am moved to tears that someone so perfect didn't give up on me.  Didn't wash His hands of me.  Didn't say to God "we have convicted her of her temper for the last time.  She just doesn't get it".  No, He stayed till I got it and is teaching me a new song. Oh, how I love Jesus.  I want to urge you to give beyond your means today with me.  If there is someone God has told you to love, forgive, spend time with and encourage and you have put it off, don't any longer.  Give out of your shortcoming.  Give out of your fatigue and your empty bank account. (Use wisdom, of course)  And watch Christ use you for His glory.
By the way....we made up!  (Terry wants to aggravate me more often!)
Have a great day!
Pressing On,
Carrie