I am writing this post as part of the Summit 9 Blogger Giveaway to answer the question of
"Why I want to attend the Summit 9?"
In no particular order of importance....
1) Dennis Rainey is our hero and best friend.....(only he doesn't know it yet!)
2) Being in the same room with people who all have a heart for adoption and for orphan care would be... well, a little taste of heaven. This means no weird looks or questions like "Why do you want to adopt when you already have three children of your own?" Once your eyes have been opened to the orphan crisis it is so hard to go about your day normally ever again. A new normal day begins with opening your eyes and praying for your child(ren) that are not with you and your night ends with desperate supplications for those who are in such agonizing situations that they are faced with being unable to take care of their own children and the pain that accompanies the joy of adoption. Wrestling, wrestling, wrestling. Only those who have been on this journey understand all these emotions and tears. I long to be in a room full of people ahead of me, beside me, or behind me on this same road.
3) When God called us to adopt we became aware of such great need. We felt overwhelmed with numbers and statistics. We began to read every book and blog that we could set our eyes to. This led us to see that every church needs to be involved and mobilized, taking part in what is so important to our Heavenly Father. But we feel ill-equipped on the Hows. We know this conference is the answer to the Hows. For such a time as this has God raised up a people who will take His word seriously and bring Him glory and make Him known. We want to be apart of that.
Pressing On
Carrie
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
You need only be still...
I have always hated to hear a christian use the phrase "I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps." A) what are bootstraps any way and how do you pull yourself up by them? B) The theology behind pulling yourself up is all wrong for people who are followers of Christ. Now I realize it is just a saying and few people give any thought to the implications behind these words. But to me, to say this means there was something in our human nature that was able to rescue ourselves, or pull us out of a pit. As believers we know there is no good thing in us. No strength apart from the Father. Scripture says "He raises the poor from the dust, and lifts the needy from the garbage pile..." Psalm 113:7. There is no power of positive thinking, no psychology to unwarp our sin warped minds. A couple of weeks ago I found myself in the mud. Or maybe a dark cloud. I could list a number of reasons of why I think I found myself there but the truth of the matter is it doesn't matter. I was just there. Stuck. I couldn't pray my way out, I couldn't read my Bible out of it. I was depressed and worn. I knew the truth but my mere knowledge did nothing for my state. Like a person trapped in quick sand the harder I fought the lower I sank. I could not pull myself up by my bootstraps. Thankfully Terry recognizing where I was, decided to take me away for the weekend. What Christ did through him I will never forget. Christ reminded me I only needed to be still. Terry began to read God's word over me. I sat very still and listened as the words of Philippians washed over my ears, my mind and my soul. Words like "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion....that love may abound more and more....do all things without grumbling or complaining...(OUCH) that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world holding fast to the word of life...our citizenship is in heaven and from it we await a Savior who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body...let your reasonableness be known to everyone...do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I could go on and on. And as crazy as this sounds Terry read The Heidelberg Catechism. Now before you hit delete, hang with me. I realize lots of people shy away from catechisms. What began as a way for parents to teach their children the foundations of their faith somehow got twisted into that salvation can be attained by memorizing the catchism. But don't throw the baby out with the dishwater.... There is some wonderful truths taught in a simple way that for a mind troubled with thinking things through clearly, it can offer much hope. The Heidleberg is a warm-hearted series of questions and answers that remind us of what and why we believe what we do. I will not list all the questions but I do want to mention one that God used to clear my head. Question 1. What is your only comfort in life and death? A. That I am not my own, but belong—body and soul, in life and in death— to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven; in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.
Seriously good stuff, right? I hope this rambling made sense to you. God taught me so much that weekend. We also went on a hike. A short but steep one. God spoke to my heart there too. Life is so much like a hike. One in deep woods. One where you have this goal at the end. One where there will be a beautiful view or a massive in your face waterfall. But on the way up you can't see a thing. And it is so hard that all you can do is look down. The trail is steep and covered in roots and limbs and pine cones and all sorts of hazards. So we just keep looking down. We look down so long that we get tired and want to stop it is so long we want to go back down. But your husband urges you on. The spirit urges you to press on. Then finally you make it to the top. And you look up and there is this beautiful waterfall and it is so close you get wet and you are so glad you didn't quit. That is life. Life is a long hard hike with mountains and vistas and waterfalls along the way between valleys and gulches. But and this is a big but the lifter of our heads is there with us. There are no bootstraps on this trail. Just Him. At times He trains our hands and fingers and feet for the battle and other times He declares He will fight for us, walk for us while He carries us, we need only to be still and silent. Whatever you are needing this morning, may you know Him, the lifter of our heads.
Pressing On,
Carrie Smith
Seriously good stuff, right? I hope this rambling made sense to you. God taught me so much that weekend. We also went on a hike. A short but steep one. God spoke to my heart there too. Life is so much like a hike. One in deep woods. One where you have this goal at the end. One where there will be a beautiful view or a massive in your face waterfall. But on the way up you can't see a thing. And it is so hard that all you can do is look down. The trail is steep and covered in roots and limbs and pine cones and all sorts of hazards. So we just keep looking down. We look down so long that we get tired and want to stop it is so long we want to go back down. But your husband urges you on. The spirit urges you to press on. Then finally you make it to the top. And you look up and there is this beautiful waterfall and it is so close you get wet and you are so glad you didn't quit. That is life. Life is a long hard hike with mountains and vistas and waterfalls along the way between valleys and gulches. But and this is a big but the lifter of our heads is there with us. There are no bootstraps on this trail. Just Him. At times He trains our hands and fingers and feet for the battle and other times He declares He will fight for us, walk for us while He carries us, we need only to be still and silent. Whatever you are needing this morning, may you know Him, the lifter of our heads.
Pressing On,
Carrie Smith
Sunday, February 10, 2013
No Pain, No Gain....
This world is not our home. Death is not our end, for those that belong to Him. Today, I am reminded that pain has a point, when we are His children. The words that cut deep. The wounds that seem to never heal, or worse, heal ever so slightly only to be stabbed at again. All serves to draw us closer to our Heavenly Father. Lifting our wounds to Him instead of licking them alone in the darkness of our soul. Darkness reminds us of our need for Light. No one likes to fumble around in the dark looking, looking for answers or hope. As daughters of the Light He shines to us, beckoning to not lay down in the dark, to keep straining ever forth His truth that brightens our hearts, minds and even our faces. Today in the midst of all these clouds that seem to be so constant lately Jesus shined His face on me and spoke to my heart. Pain has a point. Pain gets my attention. Pain makes me cry. I hate it, still. As long as I have been walking this narrow road, I still don't love pain. I don't guess I ever will. But today, the stinging began and I wanted to wallow in my pit. But then, after the tears came the familiar blanket of His love, the warmth of His grace. A warm glow from within that said "Pain has a point. It is never for no reason dear one. Never once have I let your tears fall unnoticed. Come closer to me. Learn of true forgiveness from me. Remember all I have forgiven you of. Oh, remember? Remember where I found you? Let me have this ugly pain and turn it into something beautiful for my glory....that's it....let me have it....go on....give it to me....there, there precious. I have you. I have this. Trust Me. I will never leave you or forsake you." Oh my soul how tears stream down my cheeks. This time not from the pain but from the healing. His most wonderful healing. This poor girl called and He answered me, again. Praise Him. Jesus I love you. Help me to love like you. Help me to take your light into darkness. Help me not to shrink back, because never once have you shrunk back from me. And I have been dirty and oh so stinky. Oh Jesus. My Jesus. Oh to stand before you and sing to you always. No this world is not our home and death is not our end.
Press On
Carrie
Press On
Carrie
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Parenting All Wrong
It hit me like a ton of bricks just a few minutes ago....I am a parental failure! I have come to realize I have been parenting all wrong the whole time and I only hope God's grace will cover all my mistakes and fill in the gaps. I am ashamed to admit but feel compelled to share at the same time. Go ahead and call me "Crazy". Maybe in my confession I can prevent any of you who are behind me from making the same mistakes.
I am just going to say it real fast.
I have tried to prevent my kids from suffering.
It all started at the moment of conception. When I started backing off of caffeine and artificial sweeteners during pregnancy. Not wanting to hurt their developing brains and cause ADD or something. (which obviously didn't work) Those things were smart. But then came advice like "don't raise your arms over your head or you could wrap the umbilical cord around the baby's neck". What??? Now while I did not follow that little nugget I have found my self from infant to teen, trying to buffer, what the world outside my four walls could hurl at my 3, soon to be 4 little offspring. Obviously trying to prevent physical harm is right along with what my Heavenly Father would ask but as far as suffering period I think I have done them an injustice. News Flash kids: people are going to be mean to you. They are going to hit, lie, judge, spit, push, gossip and all other horrible things to you. Just as they did to our Jesus. All of this started out of a very pure motivation. I love them. And not to uncover all the stuff that I asked Jesus to toss, but my own growing up had a little more pain in it than I wanted for my own children. But now as I wade through these new waters called "gulp" puberty I think I have neglected the pure prize of suffering. A follower of Christ can not deny that never are we closer to the heart of God than when we are hurting. Over and over again God declares "I am close to the broken hearted". Please don't misunderstand what I am saying. I am definitely not endorsing chasing after pain or risks in order to draw near to God. I have simply discovered the joy in the pain that comes at a believer on this journey. And I do not want to over protect and deny my children of the shaping that takes place through the bumpy and sometimes harsh moments of life. At the ripe old age of 35 I can shout "I am grateful for the God-ordained suffering". For example, watching my parents divorce caused me to search for and treasure a Godly husband. Call me mushy but yes I still dang near swoon every day of my life with Terry Eugene Smith. (Get.Over.It. and go swoon over your man and quit making fun of me.) Trying not to sound cliche here but those gut-wrenching days made me who I am today. Broken. Redeemed. Healed. Yes, healed. He rescued me. He healed me. Tears flow from grateful eyes and a humble heart. Do I really want to pull my kids out of those moments? Only putting them around people just like them? Only putting them in situations where they will succeed? If so, where is their need for Christ? Even now Satan whispers this will be misunderstood. What kind of parent wishes pain on their children's lives? That is not what I pray for. I pray for Christ to heal their hurts. I pray for Christ to be their best friend when there is no one, not one. I pray for God to show through them His glory in the midst of victories, yes, but more often their humility. I pray that their testimony be potent to a hurting world.
Isaiah 61:1 is a prayer of my heart. That as my wounds have been bound and as I have been set free, that I may in turn be used to do the same. That is where the beauty of the suffering shines. Caleb, Grace-Ann, Jacob.....May the Spirit of the Lord God be upon you, may you bring good news to the poor; may you bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. .
I am just going to say it real fast.
I have tried to prevent my kids from suffering.
It all started at the moment of conception. When I started backing off of caffeine and artificial sweeteners during pregnancy. Not wanting to hurt their developing brains and cause ADD or something. (which obviously didn't work) Those things were smart. But then came advice like "don't raise your arms over your head or you could wrap the umbilical cord around the baby's neck". What??? Now while I did not follow that little nugget I have found my self from infant to teen, trying to buffer, what the world outside my four walls could hurl at my 3, soon to be 4 little offspring. Obviously trying to prevent physical harm is right along with what my Heavenly Father would ask but as far as suffering period I think I have done them an injustice. News Flash kids: people are going to be mean to you. They are going to hit, lie, judge, spit, push, gossip and all other horrible things to you. Just as they did to our Jesus. All of this started out of a very pure motivation. I love them. And not to uncover all the stuff that I asked Jesus to toss, but my own growing up had a little more pain in it than I wanted for my own children. But now as I wade through these new waters called "gulp" puberty I think I have neglected the pure prize of suffering. A follower of Christ can not deny that never are we closer to the heart of God than when we are hurting. Over and over again God declares "I am close to the broken hearted". Please don't misunderstand what I am saying. I am definitely not endorsing chasing after pain or risks in order to draw near to God. I have simply discovered the joy in the pain that comes at a believer on this journey. And I do not want to over protect and deny my children of the shaping that takes place through the bumpy and sometimes harsh moments of life. At the ripe old age of 35 I can shout "I am grateful for the God-ordained suffering". For example, watching my parents divorce caused me to search for and treasure a Godly husband. Call me mushy but yes I still dang near swoon every day of my life with Terry Eugene Smith. (Get.Over.It. and go swoon over your man and quit making fun of me.) Trying not to sound cliche here but those gut-wrenching days made me who I am today. Broken. Redeemed. Healed. Yes, healed. He rescued me. He healed me. Tears flow from grateful eyes and a humble heart. Do I really want to pull my kids out of those moments? Only putting them around people just like them? Only putting them in situations where they will succeed? If so, where is their need for Christ? Even now Satan whispers this will be misunderstood. What kind of parent wishes pain on their children's lives? That is not what I pray for. I pray for Christ to heal their hurts. I pray for Christ to be their best friend when there is no one, not one. I pray for God to show through them His glory in the midst of victories, yes, but more often their humility. I pray that their testimony be potent to a hurting world.
Isaiah 61:1 is a prayer of my heart. That as my wounds have been bound and as I have been set free, that I may in turn be used to do the same. That is where the beauty of the suffering shines. Caleb, Grace-Ann, Jacob.....May the Spirit of the Lord God be upon you, may you bring good news to the poor; may you bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. .
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Hope is......
Hope.
I have learned the last couple of months that "hope" is not something that can be conjured up in ones heart and mind. It is not something that comes from enough positive thinking or good ol honest effort. It isn't something that you just wake up feeling on a good day. That is not real hope. There is nothing in and of this world that can produce or bring real hope to a soul that is in a dark and lonely place. Sure there are a lot of things here that can bring comfort. Things like a hot cup of black coffee and a really, really good doughnut. A warm hug from my husband or my children. But the comfort that those things bring is fleeting and ends with the last bite or as soon as the embrace is over. I have learned and I mean really, really learned that the only place that real hope can be found is from our Father. Our God's Holy Spirit is the only voice that can speak and coax a soul determined on withering away within itself to come out and live. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed with the pain behind me and around me that I just want to crawl in a hole, retreat, isolate. Hopeless. I neglect His words, refusing to find comfort, I forget there has ever been any hope and surely none will come. Like someone who enjoys picking a scab and not wanting to be healed. But from that deep and dark place comes a whisper from my Lord. The only true lover of my soul surveys the rubble around me and beckons me to once again place my eyes on Him, that He promises to do a new thing, of which I have never seen. My past does not determine my future when my future is banked on Him. And just like that my soul begins to feel hope again. Not fake shallow hope. But real hope. Hope that is still there despite circumstances and hurtful words. And how did it come? Straight from His own mouth. Words that He has spoken and had written down seemingly just for me. You know I always write to you where I am. So if this seemed heavy I apologize but I have been heavy. I often have ideas for emails, ways to encourage you or inspire you, but always He is very clear about what I am to share. His message of hope has been burning in my mind like a hot coal that I can't find anywhere to put down. I feel I have been brought low, so low these last several months and found myself questioning where did my "hope" go? Is my hope real? True? Lasting? Afraid at times that this feeling may be permanent. But I have found Him more real and true than the situations I am in. So I guess through this email I want to offer if I can a little encouragement, for I can not offer you "hope" I can only tell you to go to The Word. There and only there will you find the hope you are looking for. We can sing about it. We can read inspiring books about feeling good. We can hire our own squad of cheerleaders. We can get a spiritual guru for crying out loud. But real hope is found in only one place. His Holy Scriptures.
“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.
Psalm 39:6-8
Please don't forget our Chicks and Chocolate is next Thursday, October 4 at the home of Lynn Bridges. It is going to be a special time as we learn about Muslim women and intercede for them in prayer. Bring a chocolate dessert and a scarf for your head and a towel to pray on. We are going to have a special speaker. You don't want to miss it, I promise!
Pressing On,
Carrie
I have learned the last couple of months that "hope" is not something that can be conjured up in ones heart and mind. It is not something that comes from enough positive thinking or good ol honest effort. It isn't something that you just wake up feeling on a good day. That is not real hope. There is nothing in and of this world that can produce or bring real hope to a soul that is in a dark and lonely place. Sure there are a lot of things here that can bring comfort. Things like a hot cup of black coffee and a really, really good doughnut. A warm hug from my husband or my children. But the comfort that those things bring is fleeting and ends with the last bite or as soon as the embrace is over. I have learned and I mean really, really learned that the only place that real hope can be found is from our Father. Our God's Holy Spirit is the only voice that can speak and coax a soul determined on withering away within itself to come out and live. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed with the pain behind me and around me that I just want to crawl in a hole, retreat, isolate. Hopeless. I neglect His words, refusing to find comfort, I forget there has ever been any hope and surely none will come. Like someone who enjoys picking a scab and not wanting to be healed. But from that deep and dark place comes a whisper from my Lord. The only true lover of my soul surveys the rubble around me and beckons me to once again place my eyes on Him, that He promises to do a new thing, of which I have never seen. My past does not determine my future when my future is banked on Him. And just like that my soul begins to feel hope again. Not fake shallow hope. But real hope. Hope that is still there despite circumstances and hurtful words. And how did it come? Straight from His own mouth. Words that He has spoken and had written down seemingly just for me. You know I always write to you where I am. So if this seemed heavy I apologize but I have been heavy. I often have ideas for emails, ways to encourage you or inspire you, but always He is very clear about what I am to share. His message of hope has been burning in my mind like a hot coal that I can't find anywhere to put down. I feel I have been brought low, so low these last several months and found myself questioning where did my "hope" go? Is my hope real? True? Lasting? Afraid at times that this feeling may be permanent. But I have found Him more real and true than the situations I am in. So I guess through this email I want to offer if I can a little encouragement, for I can not offer you "hope" I can only tell you to go to The Word. There and only there will you find the hope you are looking for. We can sing about it. We can read inspiring books about feeling good. We can hire our own squad of cheerleaders. We can get a spiritual guru for crying out loud. But real hope is found in only one place. His Holy Scriptures.
“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.
Psalm 39:6-8
Please don't forget our Chicks and Chocolate is next Thursday, October 4 at the home of Lynn Bridges. It is going to be a special time as we learn about Muslim women and intercede for them in prayer. Bring a chocolate dessert and a scarf for your head and a towel to pray on. We are going to have a special speaker. You don't want to miss it, I promise!
Pressing On,
Carrie
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
phones, mirrors and swords
Terry and I were just having a conversation on the phone that involved me saying " I would rather God continue showing me my sin, as painful as it is, then to leave me alone". These past two years of my life God has allowed His words to be a mirror. The kind that I had as a teenager. You know the mirror that on one side you look normal but on the other side every flaw is magnified. For several months God has highlighted all my sin. Sometimes it has felt like more than my soul could bear. But always the pain has been followed with grace and mercy and forgiveness. We have also seen Him move in really big ways. It seems that the Christian life is one of pain and blessing working hand in hand. Today I fight deep grief over an area of pride and cynicism that He has revealed that did not belong in one of His childrens life. Oh how it turned my stomach. Then the gratefulness of Him protecting me from myself. Protecting me from marring His name. With all my heart, soul, and mind I want to live for Him and bring Him glory, to make His name renown. But how much my flesh gets in the way. Several months ago I received an old book that likened this flesh and spirit tug of war to weapons. Our spirit being like a sword that needs to be sharpened everyday. Sharpening the spirit comes from time with Christ in prayer and the Scriptures. This sharpening of the spirit will result in a mouth that speaks kindly, sparingly, affirmatively and respectfully. I have wrote these words on my hand, on post it notes around the house, I may even get a tatoo of it! (Just kidding) So many of my sins fall into sins of the mouth. I just can't seem to shut myself up! These sins show up like big ugly zits in my magnifying mirror. I would bet it is safe to say some of you or women you know have this struggle. I would even say that there is an epidemic among Christian women not controlling their mouths. Never giving a thought to the words that stab at our children, our neighbors, or our friends. As women of God we are to be growing, changing and leaving our wretched sin habits behind. Sadly, too many of us sit on our salvation. Missing the blessing of watching Him truly change our hearts and minds. There has yet to be a more greater miracle than a changed life for Christ. This change is not complete until we take our first breath in heaven. May we all take our sin seriously. As seriously as Christ took it, all the way to the cross. There, He took our sins, nailing them to that cross. And daily that is where we are to take them, allowing Him to crucify them, and just as He was resurrected, so are we as we leave the flesh there. Painful, yes, very. Worth it, yes, oh so much.
As for our adoption we are attempting to send off the dossier this week. Dossier is just a fancy word for a big stack of complicated and costly paperwork. This dossier has been a thorn in my side for too, too many months. I had hoped and prayed that it would leave my hands in June, but God has His own time table. And for that I can honestly say I am grateful. He has Smith #6 already in mind and I must wait for Him to bring it about in His timing. Please continue to pray for us as we have shed many tears from the frustrating process. It is very hard to explain to a 9 year old why exactly we just can't go get this child who needs us, NOW!! Please continue that there will be no more hold ups with the dossier. Please pray for us to live intentionally as we wait for more of His plan to unfold.
Pressing On,
Carrie
As for our adoption we are attempting to send off the dossier this week. Dossier is just a fancy word for a big stack of complicated and costly paperwork. This dossier has been a thorn in my side for too, too many months. I had hoped and prayed that it would leave my hands in June, but God has His own time table. And for that I can honestly say I am grateful. He has Smith #6 already in mind and I must wait for Him to bring it about in His timing. Please continue to pray for us as we have shed many tears from the frustrating process. It is very hard to explain to a 9 year old why exactly we just can't go get this child who needs us, NOW!! Please continue that there will be no more hold ups with the dossier. Please pray for us to live intentionally as we wait for more of His plan to unfold.
Pressing On,
Carrie
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
I'm learning to be the light....
Morning girls! Hope you are all finding ways to stay cool!!
Lots of reading, studying and discussing going on around my house lately about serving others. We have been using Christ's sermon on the mount as our example. Ouch! I must confess that I have always thought I was a pretty good servant. I really do enjoy taking care and serving my children and Terry. But yesterday Christ and His word put me firmly in my place about just how truly rotten I am. He showed me a picture of my motives for serving. I hate to admit I am fairly choosy to whom I serve. If it comes to serving someone difficult, I am not the first to sign up for that. Sadly, Christ does not give us an escape clause. He does not say serve the ones you love, like or appreciate. He does not say to love the ones who are like you. He doesn't even say serve all unless they hurt you then you can be excused. Nope! Christ commands love to all, serve all, be gracious to all, forgive all and judge none! I had a moment in the car where I was really giving Him a piece of my mind about these difficult people I was having to love and serve. Then, as only the Holy Spirit can do He showed me a picture of a missionary. A missionary who loved God and wanted to serve Him by serving others in Africa. This missionary gets to Africa and finds a group of people in desperate need of love and mercy and food. Only there are too many. So the missionary calls the group of people together and begins to divide them up. She first separates them into the clean and unclean. She dismisses the unclean. From the clean she divides them into pretty and not so pretty. She sends the not so pretty home. From there she continues to set apart those who have shown her gratefulness and those who seem apathetic. The apathetic are sent away. She is left with a tiny group of people to serve. But she can serve them cause they are easy and lovely and grateful and love her back. Sounds crazy right?? But that is a picture of what I do. SINFUL!! Christ showed me that when He offered me salvation I was ugly, ungrateful and dirty. I still am. In Hebrews 5, the Bible speaks of a priest being able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. There. I have been firmly and squarely dealt with. I have been convicted and set straight. God has spoken! To not repent, to not bend my knee and my will is not only rebellious and selfish but treacherous to those around me who follow after me, mainly my children. They are watching me serve those difficult ones. Am I serving with a right heart before them? Or do I feel I have been slighted and that I am entitled to better? What I must continually remind myself is I am entitled to hell, and nothing more, ever! I have been shown such kindness in the midst of my selfishness, how dare I not give that same grace to others. Who am I to declare who is worthy of "my grace"? I am building a city on a hill with a candle in it that is constantly being battered and blown by the enemy who wants me to come down off this hill and build a home all for myself in the dark. It is a fight against the flesh daily and we must never stop allowing our flesh to meet up against God's words. It is the only way we can move up that hill, to draw others to Him. Praise Him that He never leaves us to ourselves. Praise Him that He disciplines us before we make a mess out of every relationship within our reach. I share so personally with you because I want you to grow with me, to keep walking this way with me. So that we may all be a city on a hill.........
Pressing On
Carrie
Lots of reading, studying and discussing going on around my house lately about serving others. We have been using Christ's sermon on the mount as our example. Ouch! I must confess that I have always thought I was a pretty good servant. I really do enjoy taking care and serving my children and Terry. But yesterday Christ and His word put me firmly in my place about just how truly rotten I am. He showed me a picture of my motives for serving. I hate to admit I am fairly choosy to whom I serve. If it comes to serving someone difficult, I am not the first to sign up for that. Sadly, Christ does not give us an escape clause. He does not say serve the ones you love, like or appreciate. He does not say to love the ones who are like you. He doesn't even say serve all unless they hurt you then you can be excused. Nope! Christ commands love to all, serve all, be gracious to all, forgive all and judge none! I had a moment in the car where I was really giving Him a piece of my mind about these difficult people I was having to love and serve. Then, as only the Holy Spirit can do He showed me a picture of a missionary. A missionary who loved God and wanted to serve Him by serving others in Africa. This missionary gets to Africa and finds a group of people in desperate need of love and mercy and food. Only there are too many. So the missionary calls the group of people together and begins to divide them up. She first separates them into the clean and unclean. She dismisses the unclean. From the clean she divides them into pretty and not so pretty. She sends the not so pretty home. From there she continues to set apart those who have shown her gratefulness and those who seem apathetic. The apathetic are sent away. She is left with a tiny group of people to serve. But she can serve them cause they are easy and lovely and grateful and love her back. Sounds crazy right?? But that is a picture of what I do. SINFUL!! Christ showed me that when He offered me salvation I was ugly, ungrateful and dirty. I still am. In Hebrews 5, the Bible speaks of a priest being able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. There. I have been firmly and squarely dealt with. I have been convicted and set straight. God has spoken! To not repent, to not bend my knee and my will is not only rebellious and selfish but treacherous to those around me who follow after me, mainly my children. They are watching me serve those difficult ones. Am I serving with a right heart before them? Or do I feel I have been slighted and that I am entitled to better? What I must continually remind myself is I am entitled to hell, and nothing more, ever! I have been shown such kindness in the midst of my selfishness, how dare I not give that same grace to others. Who am I to declare who is worthy of "my grace"? I am building a city on a hill with a candle in it that is constantly being battered and blown by the enemy who wants me to come down off this hill and build a home all for myself in the dark. It is a fight against the flesh daily and we must never stop allowing our flesh to meet up against God's words. It is the only way we can move up that hill, to draw others to Him. Praise Him that He never leaves us to ourselves. Praise Him that He disciplines us before we make a mess out of every relationship within our reach. I share so personally with you because I want you to grow with me, to keep walking this way with me. So that we may all be a city on a hill.........
Pressing On
Carrie
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