If you have walked with the Lord for any length of time, you know full well that there are seasons in your journey. Two weeks ago began a rather difficult battle in my mind. I can't explain it really. I just became bombarded with thoughts. Thoughts of what ifs?? Thoughts of fear and loneliness. I couldn't shake it. I couldn't pray it away. All that I had was constantly battling the lies with truth. And getting to that point was like seeing a dim light at the very end of a very dark tunnel. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope, Jer 29:11. The verse that I have given to Grace-Ann to memorize to help her with her fears was the one I was clinging to in the shower when I found myself unable to breath due to doubts of that future. This morning however the cloud has lifted, for whatever reason. On this first day of a brand new season I just want to encourage you if find yourself in that funk, or cloud or tornado or fire or just plain dark to keep walking. Keep talking to Him. Keep reading His word, devour it even. Keep working out your salvation. Do not panic. Do not quit. Do not act out or react to. Just keep walking. You will find Him faithful and that fact makes the new season so much more precious.
Love you girls and I hope you have a great weekend!
Pressing On,
Carrie
Friday, September 23, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Pain is never wasted....
The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble
Psalm 9:9
This world has a way of pressing in on us. The weight of the worries and trials can sometimes drive a follower of Christ to despair. You know the moment where you just want to cover your head and hunker further down into the bed. At those times we realize again how very little of this life we are in control of. It is a critical point in our walk. There in that bed, or wherever you choose to have your breakdown, we have a decision. A decision to again turn to Christ and proclaim "Lord you are my stronghold, my stronghold in times of trouble". Or to turn the other way and sin. It is a sin to turn from our Lord in our despair. It is a sin to prolong the wallowing. To turn away from the work He is orchestrating through that pain. It is a sin when we declare we will pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, throw the covers back and go our own way, determining to not let THAT happen again. It is a sin to attempt to medicate the sorrow with food, alcohol, shopping or what ever vice you can name. But that is what we so often do. Some of us have walked with the Lord long enough to know better. We know that pain is never ever wasted. Always through pain God reveals a sin pattern that needs to be dealt with, a hurt that needs His attention, or a relationship that needs addressing. If we will only let Him. But oh that requires a moment of quiet. To be still before Him. We are so tempted here to lament our troubles to Him and then when we are done we wipe our snotty nose, dust the fuzz off our knees and go about our day fixing the mess ourselves or worse, ignoring it! All of this gushes out of my heart from experience this morning. The Lord continues to grip me with this lesson. I am learning to be quiet but it is o so hard. This exercise we continue to do together requires me to lay my so-called rights down. "But Lord, I whine I do have rights, right?" "Nope" He says. "Lord I mean I do have the right to live this life without some fool hurting my feelings, doing me wrong, or protect my wants and needs or blah blah blah blah???? Surely Lord I have the right to protect my reputation??" Again He lets me whine but again if I listen and I have got to strain to hear Him over my sobs I will hear Him say "NO child I am doing a new work in you to get glory and to let the world see I can make something from nothing!" Here I can wearily agree with Him and let Him work or I can take myself off this operating table and go about with the limp, pretending as if I am fine. How foolish to miss the blessing, the healing.
"O God help me to be still before you. Forgive me for turning away from you, busying myself with noise and activity. I don't want to do that again. You O God are the stronghold for the oppressed, You are MY stronghold in times of trouble. Not chocolate, not sex, not books, not TV, not alcohol, not my husband, not my kids, not exercise. There is only You and that is enough."
Press On,
Carrie
Psalm 9:9
This world has a way of pressing in on us. The weight of the worries and trials can sometimes drive a follower of Christ to despair. You know the moment where you just want to cover your head and hunker further down into the bed. At those times we realize again how very little of this life we are in control of. It is a critical point in our walk. There in that bed, or wherever you choose to have your breakdown, we have a decision. A decision to again turn to Christ and proclaim "Lord you are my stronghold, my stronghold in times of trouble". Or to turn the other way and sin. It is a sin to turn from our Lord in our despair. It is a sin to prolong the wallowing. To turn away from the work He is orchestrating through that pain. It is a sin when we declare we will pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, throw the covers back and go our own way, determining to not let THAT happen again. It is a sin to attempt to medicate the sorrow with food, alcohol, shopping or what ever vice you can name. But that is what we so often do. Some of us have walked with the Lord long enough to know better. We know that pain is never ever wasted. Always through pain God reveals a sin pattern that needs to be dealt with, a hurt that needs His attention, or a relationship that needs addressing. If we will only let Him. But oh that requires a moment of quiet. To be still before Him. We are so tempted here to lament our troubles to Him and then when we are done we wipe our snotty nose, dust the fuzz off our knees and go about our day fixing the mess ourselves or worse, ignoring it! All of this gushes out of my heart from experience this morning. The Lord continues to grip me with this lesson. I am learning to be quiet but it is o so hard. This exercise we continue to do together requires me to lay my so-called rights down. "But Lord, I whine I do have rights, right?" "Nope" He says. "Lord I mean I do have the right to live this life without some fool hurting my feelings, doing me wrong, or protect my wants and needs or blah blah blah blah???? Surely Lord I have the right to protect my reputation??" Again He lets me whine but again if I listen and I have got to strain to hear Him over my sobs I will hear Him say "NO child I am doing a new work in you to get glory and to let the world see I can make something from nothing!" Here I can wearily agree with Him and let Him work or I can take myself off this operating table and go about with the limp, pretending as if I am fine. How foolish to miss the blessing, the healing.
"O God help me to be still before you. Forgive me for turning away from you, busying myself with noise and activity. I don't want to do that again. You O God are the stronghold for the oppressed, You are MY stronghold in times of trouble. Not chocolate, not sex, not books, not TV, not alcohol, not my husband, not my kids, not exercise. There is only You and that is enough."
Press On,
Carrie
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Terry, Spurgeon and me
Good Morning!
I wanted to share a short excerpt from a book Terry and I are reading together. It is titled Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon. It is a devotional written by Spurgeon, but revised by Alistair Begg, using the ESV. There is one short devotion for morning and one for the evening. God has used it mightily. Last night the Lord got all up in our business. I mean you know when you have to reprimand your child because you see them doing something you don't like and you have to get right up in their face so they know the seriousness of what you are talking about. That is what our Father did with us last night! Ouch! I was still thinking about it when I woke up this morning! Our prayer was Lord do not let us ignore what you have plainly spoken to us! But that is not what I want to share with you this morning. This morning the devotion was about waiting. I just thought it too good to keep to myself, as we are all in the waiting about something. Waiting on an answer. Waiting on a blessing. Waiting on a word. Waiting on....
August 3o Morning
Wait for the Lord.--Psalm 27:14
It may seem an easy thing to wait, but it is one of the postures that a Christian soldier can not learn without years of teaching. Marching and quick-marching are much easier for God's warriors than standing still. There are hours of perplexity when the most willing spirit, anxiously desiring to serve the Lord, does not know what role to play. Then what shall it do? Vex itself by despair? Retreat back in cowardice, turn to the right hand in fear, or rush forward in presumption? No, simply wait. Wait in prayer, however. Cal lupon God, and spread the matter before Him; tell Him your difficulty, and plead His promise of help. In dilemmas between one duty and another, it is best to be humble as a child and wait with simplicity of soul upon the Lord. It is sure to be well with us when we feel and know our own folly and are genuinely willing to be guided by the will of God. But wait in faith. Express your unstaggering confidence in Him; for unfaithful, untrusting waiting is just an insult to the Lord. Believe that if He keeps you waiting even until midnight, He will still come at the right time; the vision will come and not delay. Wait in quiet patience, not rebelling because things are difficult, but blessing your God for the privilege of affliction. Never grumble against the second cause, as the children of Israel did against Moses, never wish you could go back to the world again, but accept the circumstance as it is, and put is as it stands, simply and with your whole heart, without any selfish agenda, into the hand of your covenant God, saying, "Now, Lord, not my will, but Yours be done. I do not know what to do. I am at an end of myself, but I will wait until You part the floods or drive back my enemies. I will wait, even if You test me for a while, for my heart is fixed upon You alone, O God, and my spirit waits for You in the deep conviction that You will still be my joy and my salvation, my refuge and my strong tower"
Wow! Hope you were encouraged and challenged as much as Terry and I were.
Have a great week. STAY IN HIS WORD EVERYDAY!!
Pressing on, in the waiting,
Carrie
I wanted to share a short excerpt from a book Terry and I are reading together. It is titled Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon. It is a devotional written by Spurgeon, but revised by Alistair Begg, using the ESV. There is one short devotion for morning and one for the evening. God has used it mightily. Last night the Lord got all up in our business. I mean you know when you have to reprimand your child because you see them doing something you don't like and you have to get right up in their face so they know the seriousness of what you are talking about. That is what our Father did with us last night! Ouch! I was still thinking about it when I woke up this morning! Our prayer was Lord do not let us ignore what you have plainly spoken to us! But that is not what I want to share with you this morning. This morning the devotion was about waiting. I just thought it too good to keep to myself, as we are all in the waiting about something. Waiting on an answer. Waiting on a blessing. Waiting on a word. Waiting on....
August 3o Morning
Wait for the Lord.--Psalm 27:14
It may seem an easy thing to wait, but it is one of the postures that a Christian soldier can not learn without years of teaching. Marching and quick-marching are much easier for God's warriors than standing still. There are hours of perplexity when the most willing spirit, anxiously desiring to serve the Lord, does not know what role to play. Then what shall it do? Vex itself by despair? Retreat back in cowardice, turn to the right hand in fear, or rush forward in presumption? No, simply wait. Wait in prayer, however. Cal lupon God, and spread the matter before Him; tell Him your difficulty, and plead His promise of help. In dilemmas between one duty and another, it is best to be humble as a child and wait with simplicity of soul upon the Lord. It is sure to be well with us when we feel and know our own folly and are genuinely willing to be guided by the will of God. But wait in faith. Express your unstaggering confidence in Him; for unfaithful, untrusting waiting is just an insult to the Lord. Believe that if He keeps you waiting even until midnight, He will still come at the right time; the vision will come and not delay. Wait in quiet patience, not rebelling because things are difficult, but blessing your God for the privilege of affliction. Never grumble against the second cause, as the children of Israel did against Moses, never wish you could go back to the world again, but accept the circumstance as it is, and put is as it stands, simply and with your whole heart, without any selfish agenda, into the hand of your covenant God, saying, "Now, Lord, not my will, but Yours be done. I do not know what to do. I am at an end of myself, but I will wait until You part the floods or drive back my enemies. I will wait, even if You test me for a while, for my heart is fixed upon You alone, O God, and my spirit waits for You in the deep conviction that You will still be my joy and my salvation, my refuge and my strong tower"
Wow! Hope you were encouraged and challenged as much as Terry and I were.
Have a great week. STAY IN HIS WORD EVERYDAY!!
Pressing on, in the waiting,
Carrie
Friday, August 19, 2011
Its all about me, right?????
Satan loves us to get distracted. By us, I mean God's people. He loves us to get distracted by our preferences, our rights, our lusts, our commitments, our failures, our victories, our addictions. When we are distracted his job is easier. He doesn't worry about souls being added to the kingdom when we are obsessing about the car we would like to have, the music we like to hear, the 10 lbs we need to lose, etc. The world is in need of a living Savior that can rescue them from a living misery and a burning hell. And we are idling our time away talking of the latest fashion or the new outrageous celebrity. I know this sounds a bit heavy for a wonderful Friday morning, but I couldn't sleep last night. I first laid awake thinking of all the things that seem so pressing that didn't get done that need to get done. Worrying about things that could happen, not have happened, just could happen. Then the Lord reminded me once again that we are in the process of adopting a child. One that could be born already. One that could be hungry and alone. Connected to that child is a mother so desperate that she gives her child up, either because she is dying or is going to and possibly go to hell. This mother is part of a village which is part of a city which is part of a country that is suffering from severe drought. And here I lay awake fretting over such small unimportant details. I was convicted. I am not saying we should all live in tents, reject society and all its trappings and all adopt hungry kids. I am just sharing that when we get so caught up in what we want and what we think we need or deserve or prefer we lose all influence on a lost and needy world. They see no difference between us and them. So they don't see their need for what we say we "got". This morning I prayed that God would please remind me of this always. I don't want my life to have been spent for naught. When I die I don't want there to be a pile of possessions left over to divide up between my kids, and that be it. I want there to be this legacy that Christ truly mattered in my heart. That His convictions ruled my life. That I put off anger and resentment and bitterness and put on His Holy garment of kindness, longsuffering and patience. That there was real joy in the midst of trials. That I lived at the end of myself and then God came and made His glory known. That when my life is over my kids experienced a real, true and living God that influenced my behavior, my words and my actions. God help me to not be distracted!
Father I pray for you to always grip my heart the way you did last night. May I never put my wants over what you want for me, your people or your church. May I never be so busy with the urgent to not offer a cup of living water to someone thirsty. Please help me not to think of only myself but the world, the whole world around me. In Your Name, Amen.
Sorry if I bummed you out, this is where I am this morning...
Pressing On,
Carrie
Father I pray for you to always grip my heart the way you did last night. May I never put my wants over what you want for me, your people or your church. May I never be so busy with the urgent to not offer a cup of living water to someone thirsty. Please help me not to think of only myself but the world, the whole world around me. In Your Name, Amen.
Sorry if I bummed you out, this is where I am this morning...
Pressing On,
Carrie
Friday, August 12, 2011
My mom
Good Morning Chicks!
I know that you are all as excited as I am about it being Friday!! I wanted to first thank all of you that came to our meeting the other night. I was overwhelmed at the amount of you that chose to come instead of being at home on the couch. I have thanked God for the many different women that came over and over. Just the fact that so many of us from different ages and stages came together to pray and fellowship is amazing not to mention the work we did in building walls for our family and the families around us. I truly think God could do something big in our midst.
Several of you have asked how my mother was doing and if she was alright. After it was over we talked and shared a laugh about it. My mom was just as surprised as I was about the emotion that leaped from her soul that night. You see my mom and I have always communicated very honestly with each other. The things I shared with her that night was nothing new. But, she was very tired from the constant caregiving that she gives to my grandmother and has very little time left over to come to church to get the fellowship and encouragement she so desperately needs. We both think all that combined with being reminded of the pain from our past caused that heartbreaking sob. Since that night I have prayed for my mom with a renewed fervor. That praying has led to so many memories, some painful but alot of great ones too. My mom did the impossible. She raised 2 daughters on one income and most importantly continued taking us to church every time the doors were open when I now know she would have rather crawled into bed and died! I recently read a quote from Barbara Johnson "If we can keep our minds open to the blessings, humor and education in whatever happens to us-if we can set that little invisible radar dish on top of our heads to constantly search for blessings instead of disasters-our lives will be enriched by the experiences we endure and we can grow from the calamities that fertilize our lives!" The Lord did that for us. In our home, in spite of the calamities, we laughed. And we learned. Boy did we learn! In late teens and early 20's I think I was bitter over what we endured. But now I wouldn't trade it. I now can relish the sweetness of peace. Also there is a deeper love in my God who can redeem, what seems to earthly eyes, wasted years. I don't know why God wants me to share a bit of this personal info with you but I hope that He uses it to encourage you in your walk. Maybe you are in the midst of a circumstance that you feel like will never end. But it is only a season. Maybe you are in the middle of a trial where you feel like your soul is ripped and bleeding and it won't heal. If you give it to Him, give Him all of it, He will do more than heal, it will be stronger than before. Trust me I know. Maybe life is great for you right now and you need a reminder of when those calamities come, and they will come, that He has a beautiful purpose for our pain. It's totally worth it!
I love you sisters in Christ! I have you on a list and am praying for you. I hope you are reading some in His word everyday, so His thoughts can become our thoughts. Have a fab weekend!
Pressing On,
Carrie Smith
I know that you are all as excited as I am about it being Friday!! I wanted to first thank all of you that came to our meeting the other night. I was overwhelmed at the amount of you that chose to come instead of being at home on the couch. I have thanked God for the many different women that came over and over. Just the fact that so many of us from different ages and stages came together to pray and fellowship is amazing not to mention the work we did in building walls for our family and the families around us. I truly think God could do something big in our midst.
Several of you have asked how my mother was doing and if she was alright. After it was over we talked and shared a laugh about it. My mom was just as surprised as I was about the emotion that leaped from her soul that night. You see my mom and I have always communicated very honestly with each other. The things I shared with her that night was nothing new. But, she was very tired from the constant caregiving that she gives to my grandmother and has very little time left over to come to church to get the fellowship and encouragement she so desperately needs. We both think all that combined with being reminded of the pain from our past caused that heartbreaking sob. Since that night I have prayed for my mom with a renewed fervor. That praying has led to so many memories, some painful but alot of great ones too. My mom did the impossible. She raised 2 daughters on one income and most importantly continued taking us to church every time the doors were open when I now know she would have rather crawled into bed and died! I recently read a quote from Barbara Johnson "If we can keep our minds open to the blessings, humor and education in whatever happens to us-if we can set that little invisible radar dish on top of our heads to constantly search for blessings instead of disasters-our lives will be enriched by the experiences we endure and we can grow from the calamities that fertilize our lives!" The Lord did that for us. In our home, in spite of the calamities, we laughed. And we learned. Boy did we learn! In late teens and early 20's I think I was bitter over what we endured. But now I wouldn't trade it. I now can relish the sweetness of peace. Also there is a deeper love in my God who can redeem, what seems to earthly eyes, wasted years. I don't know why God wants me to share a bit of this personal info with you but I hope that He uses it to encourage you in your walk. Maybe you are in the midst of a circumstance that you feel like will never end. But it is only a season. Maybe you are in the middle of a trial where you feel like your soul is ripped and bleeding and it won't heal. If you give it to Him, give Him all of it, He will do more than heal, it will be stronger than before. Trust me I know. Maybe life is great for you right now and you need a reminder of when those calamities come, and they will come, that He has a beautiful purpose for our pain. It's totally worth it!
I love you sisters in Christ! I have you on a list and am praying for you. I hope you are reading some in His word everyday, so His thoughts can become our thoughts. Have a fab weekend!
Pressing On,
Carrie Smith
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
knock knock knocking on Heavens door...
Morning all! I am so excited about our next Chicks and Chocolate this Thursday night. It has been a looooong time since we met and I have missed it! We are gonig to be focusing on prayer this time and talking about the assurance we have from His word that He hears us. Prayer that will be concentrating on our children. I hope that you all can make it. We are going to try it at the church this time, in room 207. If you don't know where that is contact me and I will try to give you directions. Like I said before I am so excited and so overwhelmed. As I have been praying and preparing God has shown me wonderful passages in Scripture where He loves to answer prayers of people who come together and are desperate for Him. What better reason to meet than to call on Him to work in our children's lives. I am expecting great things because we serve a real God who always hears and always answers!
Pressing on,
Carrie
Pressing on,
Carrie
Monday, July 18, 2011
I really don't have time for this....
I really do not have time to be sitting here blogging my thoughts. Tonight is our home study for our adoption. I started at 6:30 this morning on my face begging God to get me through this day. Two doctors appointments, fingerprinting, copies of this document or that document and then frantically cleaning my house! But I have had such a range of emotions, like a pendulum swinging back and forth. Frustrated to find that I had spent money on the wrong finger printing place and fatigue of the whole process. But intermixed of all this has been a sweet peace knowing the God of the universe has orchestrated this day to happen. That I am working, struggling really, to get to a child in need. One who may be born already, or not. One that will need food and shelter but also love and laughs and chocolate! And the need to know her Savior, my Savior. Right after we felt God's confirmation to adopt I read Mary Beth Chapman's book Choosing to See. Wow, what a tear jerker! But I grabbed it today to get some encouragement in the midst of this chaos. I flipped open and just started reading. I read the words "God can accomplish great things through His people who are willing to act..." God has already moved in great ways for my family and the life of this child we are pursuing. We have not spent a dime towards its cost. He has moved on the hearts of those around us and provided every step. At this moment the adoption envelope is almost empty but "God sets the lonely in families." So as long as Terry and I stay willing to act He is going to accomplish some great things! Please friends pray for the interviews tonight to go smoothly and that we will continue to trust Him and not grow weary in the midst of the paper trail. We also have some friends going through this with us, please lift them up while you are at it.
Pressing On,
Carrie
Pressing On,
Carrie
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