With tissue in hand I write...

I have attempted several times to sit down and write of the recent events
pertaining to our adoption.  Every single time I have been overcome with
emotion and unable to get my thoughts together.  I feel like John when he
wrote in his gospel "And there are also many other things that Jesus did,
which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself
could not contain the books that would be written.  Amen. "(John 21:25)
  But here I go again, in an effort to try to share with you the great way
God has moved.
Many of you may already know.  You may have even been in the service two
weeks ago at GLBC.  But for those of you who are unaware....

Terry and I are blessed beyond measure to be a part of an adoption group
called Levi Circle.  These people have a hot heart for anything that Jesus
had a hot heart about involving the orphan.  When we meet, we leave feeling
renewed and energized to keep moving forward in this long process.  This
precious group donated $1,000 to our expenses and challenged our church to
match this grant.  What God did through GLBC is mind blowing.  Grove Level
Baptist Church not only matched it but went beyond it, delivering an amount
of more than $11,400!  I wish I could tell you that when our Pastor
presented us with the amount that I was able to hold my self together in a
> respectable manner....But that is not true.  I was overcome with emotion of
> which I have never known.  I still am.  I cried and cried and cried.  I
> sweated and then cried some more.  We were hoping for $3,000.  It was such
> a huge confirmation that indeed Terry and I had heard right from our
> Savior, that somewhere there is Smith child #4 or 5 in Ethiopia, waiting
> for us.  Again I struggle here for words.  Trying to convey the weight of
> His glory I felt that night and continue to feel when I wake and when I lay
> down every night since..there just aren't enough words in my vocabulary.
>  The Westminster Catechism says that our Scripture says "Mans primary
> purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."  That is what every day
> of our lives boils down to.  Every movement, every relationship, every
> decision is to bring Him glory and there is inexpressable joy in it.  Trust
> me, I know.  I hope this email makes sense.  It was a real struggle for me
> to get this down.  The tears flow at the drop of a hat now.  I am
> constantly swamped by emotion.  How great a God He is.  How small am I.  I
> am going to end this FINALLY with words to a favorite song of the Smiths...
>
> Could we with ink the ocean fill,
> And were the skies of parchment made,
> Were every stalk on earth a quill,
> And every man a scribe by trade;
> To write the love of God above
> Would drain the ocean dry;
> Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
> Though stretched from sky to sky.
>
>
> Pressing On
> Carrie
>

They are weak but He is strong...

Happy Saturday!!
I find myself home alone....Yep alone on a Saturday.  Unheard of around here.  So I did what any respectful mother would do when she finds herself alone...I plopped down in the recliner (which I never get to sit in) and watched a movie.  Or I tried to watch it.  Half way through I stopped and decided to try a new recipe but it went too fast so then I had to clean the kitchen....and still no one home.  In the midst of all this silence I wanted to share my morning with you.  Lately, Terry and I have been described as "transparent".  We have laughed, not really knowing if this was a complement or what.  Is it good to share your weaknesses?  Is it good to share with the world your many faults?  Well good or bad, here I go again.  
This morning, as I stood in the kitchen making my family waffles...one.at.a.time...Terry and I had a moment of...um..intense disagreement...To say the least I was a little angry.  We did this,spat, in front of the kids.  Now, we do not argue much, really hardly ever, honestly.  So that made the whole scene rather comical to the children, which Terry seemed to enjoy WHICH only added heat to my anger.  In the midst of the battle I get a phone call from a dear out-of-town friend.  I did not answer it at first but then realize I can escape the kitchen if I announce I needed to call her back.  So I did.  Only to find out her and her precious family are in my driveway!!  Now I don't know how you live but as for me I was still in pajamas and my house needed more than a quick pick me up...but we all hurried outside to greet them.  As we talked, they revealed needing to meet with our Pastor and "would it be alright if he stopped by??"  Now?  Here? Now?  Sure!  Why not?  I mean we are transparent right!  A few minutes later in walks the Reverend, himself, I think tripping over a pair of shoes and a toy snake!  The Lord dearly loves keeping me humble.  After they left, the argument was forgotten and we went on with normal stuff.  Mowing, scrubbing, etc.  As I moved about my house I couldn't help but laugh at how God orchestrates events in our lives.  How very imperfect I am and yet He still involves Himself in my family's lives.  These thoughts led me to praying for God to give me wisdom as I parent a child about to turn 13.  YIKES!  Strength to keep up with a son who is in constant motion.  And more love for a little girl developing into a young lady.  Can I do it Lord?  What am I thinking, adopting??  Am I even raising these 3 right?  Then the mail ran....Grace-Ann leaps through the front door announcing we had an envelope from Show Hope.  We had been waiting on this letter for a really really long time.  (Show Hope is a organization started by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife to aid families in the adoption process)  We had applied for a grant several months ago.  Today of all days, the letter came.  I collapsed in a chair and the family gathered round.  Nervously I fumbled to open it and read the words "We are pleased to inform you that you have been awarded an adoption assistance grant..."  I cried.  I am still.  Just like that God intervened in my life again.  Why?  I don't know.  As I cried and kept crying Terry asked me what was making me cry so much.  My reply was this "We have no idea what we are doing and yet He gives us more"  How humbling.  How amazing.  We live in a world where the best get rewarded.  The prettiest get showcased.  The strongest, quickest, smartest get spotlighted.  And yet God says let me find the most inept people possible and bless them.  Love them.  Sing over them.  So that I may get all the glory.  Our weaknesses reveal our need for Him.  O how I need Him.  If it suits Him for His pleasure to continually remind me and those around me (including wonderful friends and my Pastor) that I am incompetent...then so be it.  For I have seen things never thought imaginable.  I have smelled Him in my home over the dirty dishes and the stained carpet.  I have felt His overwhelming, sweet presence be thick and real on a Saturday afternoon when I was home all alone.  So I will chase Him all the more.  As I type and cry at the same time I beckon you to chase Him too.  If you are discouraged, keep going.  If you are tired, collapse in His arms.  May you see your limits, weaknesses, setbacks as Christ setting the stage for His presence in your life.
Press on
Carrie

A quote for you superheroes..a.k.a THE MOM!

Zippa-Dee-Do-Dah  It's Friday and I have absolutely NO plans tomorrow!  Isn't that great?  I hope you have an equally exciting weekend as I do!

Our week was crammed full and I am so very pumped about having some downtime with my brood.  Also, with the anticipation of Mother's day this weekend I can feel myself already getting teary eyed.  Sunday night Terry and I get to share about our adoption journey and I can't help but find God's timing perfect...Mother's day.  Along with that thought here is a great quote I found from one of my heroes, Elisabeth Elliot

“Mothers are always on call, expected to have all the answers and limitless energies. They’re supposed to do everything; it’s taken for granted. How can you be and do everything expected of you? What you need is a habitual sense of the presence of God. Think that Almighty God, who created the stars and keeps the seasons revolving in perfect rhythm, is there in your kitchen, in your bathroom, in the laundry room, in the grocery store. Mothers, be prepared for an arduous struggle. Your calling is impossible without prayer, the comfort and instruction of the Scriptures and fellowship in your church.”

And this is a truth that carries over into any season of life, any job, any role that is required of us.  We can not expect success or blessing or greater power or more influence without His words and His people.  God bless you my sisters. I pray you would feel His presence about your most tedious task today.  May you have a wonderful weekend full of rest and refreshment, family and fun.  And some really good food too!
Press on
Carrie

Ramblings of George Jones, Friday and Me

Do any of you recall the song by...um...George Jones..."Finally Friday"?  No?  Okay well it goes a little something like this..."It's finally Friday, free again, got my motor running for a wild weekend!!"  That is how I feel.  Well not that I am going to have a wild weekend, but I am really glad it is Friday.  How about you?I hope you all are doing well and are looking forward to a great weekend with your family. 

We have had a  pretty eventful week around here as we got to mail off our i600A form.  In adoption language that is a request to file for immigration and fingerprinting in Atlanta.  That simple form was sent with a check for $890.  I know there are those of you that would think that an insignificant amount.  But for us it was a matter of faith and trust and God's provision.  Several weeks ago I was very discouraged about that $890.  I knew we would save up for it, but how long would it take?  We continued to trust Christ and His heart for the orphan.  Weeks went by and we had to continue to trust His words and that He would do as He promised.  Well as I have already shared we mailed it this week.  I am continually amazed at the ways God provides for my family.  We are going to get to share in detail our story on May 13, in the Sunday night service.  I tell you this just to remind you to stay in His word.  His word is where we find our instructions on living this life, where we read what is important to God, and where we find our encouragement and comfort.  I am convinced you can't live this life without it.  Without our commitment to His word Terry and I would have more than likely quit this adoption journey, maybe even have quit each other.  It has hemmed us in on more than one occasion.  O how gracious He is!  So, there, that is your ramblings from this chick, now go eat some chocolate and say YAY FRIDAY!!!! 
Pressing On,
Carrie

October Baby

Hey ladies, I just wanted to put an idea out and see what the interest would be.  I don't know if many of you have seen or even heard of the movie October Baby but it tells the story of someone who was adopted and in her adult life researches her background.  You can see the clip here
http://octoberbabymovie.net/. 
Anyway it is an amazing story and the people in charge of Bible studies have come up with one that I think is worth looking into.  I am thinking this would be one that would meet in my home and be high school girls and ladies.  You can research a chapter from the Bible study...here..
http://www.octoberbabymovie.net/ministryresources/octoberbabyresources
Let me know what you think, if you are interested, train wreck of an idea, cool-but won't come... 
Hope you are having a great day....BTW have you been in the WORD lately??
Carrie

Good Monday Morning Girls,
Below is a post from John Piper's Website desiringgod.com.  It is a blog post from Piper.  It describes exactly where I am walking lately which is fragile, tired and overwhelmed.  I read this this morning and it was exactly the prod I needed to press into God and His words, a little deeper and a little longer.  How blessed we all are to have His words that are there in times of victory and times of defeat.  I hope this helps and encourages you also. Love you.
Pressing On
Carrie
John Piper-
There are mornings when I wake up feeling fragile. Vulnerable. It’s often vague. No single threat. No one weakness. Just an amorphous sense that something is going to go wrong and I will be responsible. It’s usually after a lot of criticism. Lots of expectations that have deadlines and that seem too big and too many.
As I look back over about 50 years of such periodic mornings, I am amazed how the Lord Jesus has preserved my life. And my ministry. The temptation to run away from the stress has never won out — not yet anyway. This is amazing. I worship him for it.
How has he done this? By desperate prayer and particular promises. I agree with Spurgeon: I love the “I wills” and the “I shalls” of God.
Instead of letting me sink into a paralysis of fear, or run to a mirage of greener grass, he has awakened a cry for help and then answered with a concrete promise.
Here’s an example. This is recent. I woke up feeling emotionally fragile. Weak. Vulnerable. I prayed: “Lord help me. I’m not even sure how to pray.”
An hour later I was reading in Zechariah, seeking the help I had cried out for. It came. The prophet heard great news from an angel about Jerusalem:
Jerusalem shall be inhabited as villages without walls, because of the multitude of people and livestock in it. And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord, and I will be the glory in her midst. (Zechariah 2:4–5)
There will be such prosperity and growth for the people of God that Jerusalem will not be able to be walled in any more. “The multitude of people and livestock” will be so many that Jerusalem will be like many villages spreading out across the land without walls.
But walls are necessary! They are the security against lawless hordes and enemy armies. Villages are fragile, weak, vulnerable. Prosperity is nice, but what about protection?
To which God says in Zechariah 2:5, “I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord.” Yes. That’s it. That is the promise. The “I will” of God. That is what I need. And if it is true for the vulnerable villages of Jerusalem, it is true for me a child of God. God will be a “wall of fire all around me.” Yes. He will. He has been. And he will be.
And it gets better. Inside that fiery wall of protection he says, “And I will be the glory in her midst.” God is never content to give us the protection of his fire; he will give us pleasure of his presence.
This was sweet to me. This carried me for days. I took this with me to the pulpit. I took it with me to family gatherings. I took it to staff meetings. I took it to phone calls and emails.
This has been my deliverance every time since I was first marking my King James Bible at age 15. God has rescued me with cries for help and concrete promises. This time he said: “I will be to her a wall of fire all around, and I will be the glory in her midst.”
Cry out to him. Then ransack the Bible for his appointed promise. We are fragile. But he is not.
________
Recent posts from John Piper —

Happy Hump Day, All!!
I am gonna jump right to the point today with something that first God convicted Terry and I about and since has burned in my soul.  I just had to share my thoughts.  The sin of grumbling.  Grumbling.  Big deal, right? Very big deal.  Especially to a Holy God.  The Old Testament records the "grumbling of the Israelites" and God's response to them.  He sent Moses, manna, quail, and dry land.  Yet, still they muttered in discontent.  It was too hot, too cold.  It was too lonely, too many people, not my kind of people.  It was too hard, too boring.  On and on they bellyached, griped, grouched, groused, growled and grumped.  "Oh get it together you babies", we scream at our Bibles on our laps.  Flipping the pages, but not before we roll our eyes at their lack of trust, faith and love in a caring Father, a huge God, an awesome Provider.  We want to go to something more relevant.  Something more now.  Something that God would want to say to the "church" to "me".  But wait, over and over Christ and the New Testament speak of instructions against not murmuring.  Jesus calls out His disciples in John 6:16 for grumbling.  Can you imagine being reprimanded by Jesus?  Then in Phil 2:14 Paul says to "do all things without grumbling or disputing"  Another verse even goes so far to say to "Show hospitality to one another with out grumbling" 1 Peter 4:9.  Could Christ be telling US not to grumble??  "I don't grumble Lord"  "Besides, if you had given me manna from Heaven I never would have grumbled"  "If you had parted the Red Sea right in front of me, I would never have grumbled"  "All you gave me was.....eternal life, pardon from sins....Besides Lord you don't know my mother in law, my mom, my co-workers, my friends, my husband, my kids, my church......you would grumble too Lord."   Ooops, girls dare I say we have a grumbling problem.  So what is a chick to do??  I have come up with only one solution and it is to SHUT UP!  This week I was so tempted to blast off on some different things in the media that had ruffled my feathers, offended my convictions and just really ticked me off.  I thought about several ways and places I could go about letting my feelings be heard.  I wanted to complain of unfairness to my faith.  A while ago I was privy to a conversation where someone blasted someone for having lots of kids.  I wanted to shout that it was none of their business.  I also had the blessing of being around some "dear Christian ladies"  who belittled in a nice way what I do everyday.  I wanted to spit back that what I was doing was indeed important!  Thankfully, and O so gratefully my Jesus held my tongue.  To my soul He spoke "will these people be won by your tongue lashings?"  The answer was a resounding "No, Father"  How then will a scandalous media, carnal Christians, and a lost world be won?  Jesus says by our love, by our actions.  Yes I suppose there is a time when a holy anger spurs us to say what needs to be said.  That was certainly the point of the prophet of Old Testament days.  But I couldn't help but wonder could my community, my world be changed by them watching me show Christ's love.  What does this look like?  Well for me it is staying home on one income, it is taking my kids to the grocery store with me and not grumbling. It is adopting 1, 2, or however many children from another race.  It is working to stay head over heels in love with my husband.  It is cooking meals for a couple in need of encouragement. It is loving the hard to love.  It is giving till I am spent physically and spiritually. That is weird.  That will get the "church" noticed.  Not our programs, not our rules.  Not our standards and convictions shouted at them.  But faith fleshed out right before there very eyes!!  I just want to encourage you girls the way Christ has shown me to SHUT-UP! :)  To live Christ-like loudly.  Like real loud.  Like let your life scream...I LOVE JESUS!!!!  From the words of Ron Hutchraft   to face the hypocrisy between our spiritual image and our private (or public) trash talk.  This way is so much harder.  It is easier to talk.  To yammer.  But Christ calls for hard.  Do hard with me.  Go on, Shut up!
Pressing on,
Carrie