Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I'm learning to be the light....

Morning girls!  Hope you are all finding ways to stay cool!!
Lots of reading, studying and discussing going on around my house lately about serving others. We have been using Christ's sermon on the mount as our example.  Ouch!  I must confess that I have always thought I was a pretty good servant.  I really do enjoy taking care and serving my children and Terry.   But  yesterday Christ and His word put me firmly in my place about just how truly rotten I am.  He showed me a picture of my motives for serving.  I hate to admit I am fairly choosy to whom I serve.  If it comes to serving someone difficult, I am not the first to sign up for that.  Sadly, Christ does not give us an escape clause. He does not say serve the ones you love, like or appreciate.  He does not say to love the ones who are like you.  He doesn't even say serve all unless they hurt you then you can be excused.  Nope!  Christ commands love to all, serve all, be gracious to all, forgive all and judge none!  I had a moment in the car where I was really giving Him a piece of my mind about these difficult people I was having to love and serve.  Then, as only the Holy Spirit can do He showed me a picture of a missionary.  A missionary who loved God and wanted to serve Him by serving others in Africa.  This missionary gets to Africa and finds a group of people in desperate need of love and mercy and food.  Only there are too many.  So the missionary calls the group of people together and begins to divide them up.  She first separates them into the clean and unclean.  She dismisses the unclean.  From the clean she divides them into pretty and not so pretty.  She sends the not so pretty home.  From there she continues to set apart those who have shown her gratefulness and those who seem apathetic. The apathetic are sent away.  She is left with a tiny group of people to serve.  But she can serve them cause they are easy and lovely and grateful and love her back.  Sounds crazy right??  But that is a picture of what I do.  SINFUL!!  Christ showed me that when He offered me salvation I was ugly, ungrateful and dirty.  I still am.  In Hebrews 5, the Bible  speaks of a priest being able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness.  There.  I have been firmly and squarely dealt with.  I have been convicted and set straight.  God has spoken!  To not repent, to not bend my knee and my will is not only rebellious and selfish but treacherous to those around me who follow after me, mainly my children.  They are watching me serve those difficult ones.  Am I serving with a right heart before them?  Or do I feel I have been slighted and that I am entitled to better?  What I must continually remind myself is I am entitled to hell, and nothing more, ever!  I have been shown such kindness in the midst of my selfishness, how dare I not give that same grace to others.  Who am I to declare who is worthy of "my grace"?  I am building a city on a hill with a candle in it that is constantly being battered and blown by the enemy who wants me to come down off this hill and build a home all for myself in the dark.  It is a fight against the flesh daily and we must never stop allowing our flesh to meet up against God's words.  It is the only way we can move up that hill, to draw others to Him.  Praise Him that He never leaves us to ourselves.  Praise Him that He disciplines us before we make a mess out of every relationship within our reach.  I share so personally with you because I want you to grow with me, to keep walking this way with me.  So that we may all be a city on a hill.........
Pressing On
Carrie

Friday, June 1, 2012

With tissue in hand I write...


I have attempted several times to sit down and write of the recent events
pertaining to our adoption.  Every single time I have been overcome with
emotion and unable to get my thoughts together.  I feel like John when he
wrote in his gospel "And there are also many other things that Jesus did,
which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself
could not contain the books that would be written.  Amen. "(John 21:25)
  But here I go again, in an effort to try to share with you the great way
God has moved.
Many of you may already know.  You may have even been in the service two
weeks ago at GLBC.  But for those of you who are unaware....

Terry and I are blessed beyond measure to be a part of an adoption group
called Levi Circle.  These people have a hot heart for anything that Jesus
had a hot heart about involving the orphan.  When we meet, we leave feeling
renewed and energized to keep moving forward in this long process.  This
precious group donated $1,000 to our expenses and challenged our church to
match this grant.  What God did through GLBC is mind blowing.  Grove Level
Baptist Church not only matched it but went beyond it, delivering an amount
of more than $11,400!  I wish I could tell you that when our Pastor
presented us with the amount that I was able to hold my self together in a
> respectable manner....But that is not true.  I was overcome with emotion of
> which I have never known.  I still am.  I cried and cried and cried.  I
> sweated and then cried some more.  We were hoping for $3,000.  It was such
> a huge confirmation that indeed Terry and I had heard right from our
> Savior, that somewhere there is Smith child #4 or 5 in Ethiopia, waiting
> for us.  Again I struggle here for words.  Trying to convey the weight of
> His glory I felt that night and continue to feel when I wake and when I lay
> down every night since..there just aren't enough words in my vocabulary.
>  The Westminster Catechism says that our Scripture says "Mans primary
> purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."  That is what every day
> of our lives boils down to.  Every movement, every relationship, every
> decision is to bring Him glory and there is inexpressable joy in it.  Trust
> me, I know.  I hope this email makes sense.  It was a real struggle for me
> to get this down.  The tears flow at the drop of a hat now.  I am
> constantly swamped by emotion.  How great a God He is.  How small am I.  I
> am going to end this FINALLY with words to a favorite song of the Smiths...
>
> Could we with ink the ocean fill,
> And were the skies of parchment made,
> Were every stalk on earth a quill,
> And every man a scribe by trade;
> To write the love of God above
> Would drain the ocean dry;
> Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
> Though stretched from sky to sky.
>
>
> Pressing On
> Carrie
>