Friday, September 23, 2011

a light at the end of the tunnel

If you have walked with the Lord for any length of time, you know full well  that there are seasons in your journey.  Two weeks ago began a rather difficult battle in my mind.  I can't explain it really.  I just became bombarded with thoughts.  Thoughts of what ifs??  Thoughts of fear and loneliness.  I couldn't shake it.  I couldn't pray it away.  All that I had was constantly battling the lies with truth.  And getting to that point was like seeing a dim light at the very end of a very dark tunnel.  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope, Jer 29:11.  The verse that I have given to Grace-Ann to memorize to help her with her fears was the one I was clinging to in the shower when I found myself unable to breath due to doubts of that future.  This morning however the cloud has lifted, for whatever reason.  On this first day of a brand new season I just want to encourage you if find yourself in that funk, or cloud or tornado or fire or just plain dark to keep walking.  Keep talking to Him.  Keep reading His word, devour it even.  Keep working out your salvation.  Do not panic.  Do not quit.  Do not act out or react to. Just keep walking.  You will find Him faithful and that fact makes the new season so much more precious.
Love you girls and I hope you have a great weekend!
Pressing On,
Carrie

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Pain is never wasted....

The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble
Psalm 9:9
    
     This world has a way of pressing in on us.  The weight of the worries and trials can sometimes drive a follower of Christ to despair.  You know the moment where you just want to cover your head and hunker further down into the bed.  At those times we realize again how very little of this life we are in control of.  It is a critical point in our walk.  There in that bed, or wherever you choose to have your breakdown,  we have a decision.  A decision to again turn to Christ and proclaim "Lord you are my stronghold, my stronghold in times of trouble".  Or to turn the other way and sin.  It is a sin to turn from our Lord in our despair.  It is a sin to prolong the wallowing.  To turn away from the work He is orchestrating through that pain.  It is a sin when we declare we will pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, throw the covers back and go our own way, determining to not let THAT happen again.  It is a sin to attempt to medicate the sorrow with food, alcohol, shopping or what ever vice you can name.  But that is what we so often do.  Some of us have walked with the Lord long enough to know better.  We know that pain is never ever wasted.  Always through pain God reveals a sin pattern that needs to be dealt with, a hurt that needs His attention, or a relationship that needs addressing.  If we will only let Him.  But oh that requires a moment of quiet.  To be still before Him.  We are so tempted here to lament our troubles to Him and then when we are done we wipe our snotty nose, dust the fuzz off our knees and go about our day fixing the mess ourselves or worse, ignoring it!  All of this gushes out of my heart from experience this morning.  The Lord continues to grip me with this lesson.  I am learning to be quiet but it is o so hard.  This exercise we continue to do together requires me to lay my so-called rights down.  "But Lord, I whine I do have rights, right?" "Nope" He says.  "Lord I mean I do have the right to live this life without some fool hurting my feelings, doing me wrong, or protect my wants and needs  or blah blah blah blah????  Surely Lord I have the right to protect my reputation??"  Again He lets me whine but again if I listen and I have got to strain to hear Him over my sobs I will hear Him say "NO child I am doing a new work in you to get glory and to let the world see I can make something from nothing!"  Here I can wearily agree with Him and let Him work or I can take myself off this operating table and go about with the limp, pretending as if I am fine.  How foolish to miss the blessing, the healing.
      "O God help me to be still before you.  Forgive me for turning away from you, busying myself with noise and activity.  I don't want to do that again.  You O God are the stronghold for the oppressed, You are MY stronghold in times of trouble. Not chocolate, not sex, not books, not TV, not alcohol, not my husband, not my kids, not exercise.  There is only You and that is enough."

Press On,
Carrie